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Struggling with low self-esteem can stem from a host of things that happened to you in the past, or as a result of messages you internalized from important others earlier on in life. It creates this feeling of never being good enough, as though you should always be doing more; you have all these ideas of how you “should” be and all the ways you don’t measure up (connected to perfectionism). Self-doubt and negative self-talk are always running through your mind, but at the same time, you may not really be sure what being “enough” really means or looks like for you. Societal and family expectations as well as social media can also contribute to unrealistic standards, distorted self-image, and always comparing ourselves to others.
These realities may cause you to be a habitual people-pleaser or to avoid people, situations, or potential opportunities that end up eliciting a painful fear of judgment or rejection, or that harsh inner voice, a voice that leads you to compare yourself to others or beat up on yourself. It makes it hard to feel secure in your relationships, and anxiety around all the “what ifs” makes it hard to be present and feel good. These thoughts and patterns can show up at work as well, where maybe it seems like you’re constantly struggling with seeking validation or reassurance, or that you’re always trying to prove your worth but it’s just never enough.
There are many benefits that come with counseling for self-esteem and confidence. There is no “one size fits all” approach to this work, and our therapists know that this is a process and one that can truly change your life by allowing you to heal and grow emotionally and strengthen your self-worth. We work with our clients on exploring the root causes of their low self-esteem and identifying, challenging, and dismantling the negative self-talk, behaviors, and beliefs that all serve to reinforce it. Together we can learn how to stop people-pleasing, reject the harsh inner critic, change those unhealthy behaviors that keep you tethered in a negativity loop, set healthy boundaries in your relationships, feel empowered to do the things that you feel are right for you, and focus on and appreciate your strengths and unique traits that make you you.