Dating + Relationships
You have the power to make loving, healthy connections. Change starts with you.
In your heart, you know you’re looking for a lasting love in your life, but in reality, dating can feel like such a frustrating, draining roller coaster. You may feel as if despite a lot of desire and effort, you are simply getting nowhere, doomed to continue repeating the same patterns over and over again without seeing the results you desire. While dating apps show countless profiles, date hopping leaves you feeling unfulfilled and increasingly disillusioned. For some, that fear of being alone or that you might never find that someone to share a future with causes all sorts of anxieties, pokes at insecurities, and even prevents us from genuinely connecting. Maybe you’re just not sure what it is that you’re looking for and what you need or hurts from past relationships keep popping up in the present, making it harder for you to see the person before you as who they are unclouded by others.
Some of our clients who seek therapy for dating and relationships are currently in a relationship but something just doesn’t feel right and they’re not sure if they should stay and try to work it out or leave. Or they find themselves struggling with how to communicate their needs and wishes or with how to establish and maintain boundaries. Some question if they are deserving of love or avoid being vulnerable, letting others in, or committing. Others are in the midst of a breakup, which means not only grieving that person and that relationship, but also all the future ideas, images, and “what could have been.” Re-entering the dating world, especially in the hecticness of New York City, elicits a great deal of anxiety for many and it can feel hard to find the motivation to even try.
We strongly believe that one key piece to finding happiness and fulfillment in an intimate relationship is also finding happiness within yourself, and better understanding yourself and your worth outside of your relationship status. Building self-confidence and self-awareness (including an awareness of your attachment style and behavioral patterns in current and past relationships) and working on effective communication are important pieces of the puzzle. Identifying any self-limiting lenses through which you see yourself or relationships and unhealthy behaviors that keep you stuck are other pieces we work with our clients on in therapy. We are not born knowing how to navigate the complexities and challenges that come with relationships, so having someone in your corner supporting you along the way can make the world of a difference.